Stop Repeating the Same Pattern
You can be successful, capable, and self-aware—and still find yourself stuck in the same dynamics.
Maybe you keep getting passed over. You struggle to ask for what you want. You put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. Or you take control so automatically that there is no room left for anyone else.
I help people recognize the patterns shaping how they use, give away, and respond to power—so they can make different choices at work, in relationships, and in their own lives.
THE Problem
The Pattern
Different Situation. Same Dynamic.
Most people come to me because something keeps happening.
A new job, but the same frustration.
A new relationship, but the same conflict.
Another opportunity where you didn’t ask for what you wanted—or another situation where you took on more responsibility than you wanted because saying no felt harder.
The circumstances change.
The pattern doesn’t.
And often, the pattern has something to do with power: how comfortable you are having it, giving it away, asking for what you want, setting boundaries, depending on someone else, allowing someone to depend on you, or just taking up space.
The goal isn’t to understand the pattern.
It’s to change what you do when it shows up.
THE IMPACT
Where This Shows Up
Power is a Bigger Part of Your Life Than You Think
Power dynamics aren’t limited to bosses, politics, or obvious conflicts.
They show up whenever two people want, need, expect, or depend on something from each other.
Work & Career
You’re good at what you do, but something keeps getting in the way.
getting passed over for promotions
struggling to advocate for yourself
difficulty asking for more money
managing up
taking on too much
avoiding conflict
feeling responsible for everyone else
struggling with authority
Relationships
The same dynamics often follow us home.
putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own
difficulty asking directly for what you want
taking too much responsibility for the relationship
avoiding vulnerability or dependence
controlling situations without realizing it
struggling to set or maintain boundaries
repeating the same conflict with different partners
Your Relationship With Yourself
Sometimes the struggle is less visible.
You know something needs to change.
You may even understand why you do what you do.
But understanding it hasn’t changed it.
OUR APPROACH
The Work
See the Pattern. Understand the Decision. Make a New One.
My work is grounded in Transactional Analysis and Re-decision work, with a particular focus on power and relationships.
We look at the patterns operating now, where they came from, and the decisions you made earlier in life about yourself and other people. We even look at the decisions you made about relationships, authority, safety, and power.
But this isn’t about spending session after session analyzing your past.
The past matters because it helps us understand the present.
The work is about what is happening now.
The work is direct, collaborative, and experiential. The goal is not simply insight. It is creating opportunities for you to think, feel, respond, and choose differently.
The who
Who I Work With
You Don’t Need to Be in Crisis to Want Something to Change
The people I work with are often capable, thoughtful, and successful.
They’re not looking for someone to tell them how to live their lives. And they’re not necessarily trying to fix something that is broken.
They’ve simply reached a point where they recognize that something keeps happening—and they want to understand their role in it.
They’re willing to look honestly at themselves, including the ways they may be giving away power, taking too much of it, avoiding something difficult, or continuing a pattern that once served them but no longer does.
Some have already done therapy, coaching, or significant self-development work.
Others are encountering this kind of work for the first time.
What matters is a willingness to be curious, to experiment, and to do more than understand the problem intellectually.
You don’t need to arrive knowing what needs to change.
You need to be willing to find out.
Strictly confidential : Limited private advisory engagements accepted each quarter.
OUR METHOD
Why This Approach
Not Therapy. Not Generic Coaching.
I am not a licensed therapist, and I do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions. But I’m also not a coach who took a weekend course and started giving advice.
That distinction matters.
My work comes from nearly two decades of experience—first doing my own work within the model and later training extensively as a practitioner.
I spent years experiencing this work from the client side before, and while, learning how to facilitate it with others.
That combination matters to how I work. I know the theory.
I also know what it is like to sit on the other side of the room and try to create change.
Training and Certificaitons
Transactional Analysis Practitioner (TAP)
Transactional Analysis Advanced Practitioner (TAAP) - North American Transactional Analysis Association
Redecision Mastery - Southeast Institute for Group and Family Therapy
OUR APPROACH
What Makes This Different
Insight Is Useful. Experience Creates Change.
You may already know a lot about yourself.
You may understand your childhood. You may know your attachment style. You may even be able to explain why you react the way you do. And yet you still react that way.
My work is not designed to give you one more explanation for yourself.
We use insight to identify what is happening, then work experientially with the pattern so you have an opportunity to do something different.
How would you like to ask instead of hoping someone notices? Say 'no' without overexplaining? Allow someone else to take responsibility? Or take authority when it belongs to you?
What will it feel like when you recognize you have a choice where you previously felt like you didn’t?
The goal is not to become a different person.
It is to have more choices about how you show up.
who am i?
ABOUT MATTHEW PICKUS
I work at the intersection of human behavior, relationships, leadership, and power.
I hold an MBA from Cornell University and a Master of Science in Public Health (MSPH) from the University of Michigan. I have spent much of my professional career working in business intelligence, organizational systems, and decision-making, giving me extensive experience understanding complex systems, identifying patterns, and seeing how structure, communication, and human behavior influence outcomes.
Alongside my professional career, I have spent nearly two decades studying and experiencing Transactional Analysis, Re-decision work, interpersonal dynamics, and power.
I came to Transactional Analysis first as a client. I spent years doing my own work within the model before training to use it professionally. That experience matters to me. I know these ideas not only as concepts and techniques, but from the experience of sitting on the other side of the room and confronting my own patterns.
My work is also informed by specialized training in relational power dynamics, giving me an additional lens for understanding how people experience authority, autonomy, dependence, control, boundaries, vulnerability, and choice.
Together, these experiences allow me to bring systems thinking, business strategy, Transactional Analysis, Re-decision work, and relational power dynamics into a practical and deeply human approach to 1:1 work.
YOUR TRANSFORMATION
1:1 COACHING
Private Work Focused on the Pattern You Want to Change
This is individualized work.
We start with what is happening in your life now and what you want to be different.
From there, we identify the patterns getting in the way and create a clear agreement about what we are working toward.
The work may involve career, relationships, communication, boundaries, authority, money, leadership, self-advocacy, or other places where power and choice are showing up in your life. At home, at work and everywhere else.
You do not need to arrive with the right terminology or a perfectly defined problem.
You need something you genuinely want to change.
Ready?
REady for change?
You Already Know What
Keeps Happening.
You may not know why yet.
And you may not know what to do differently.
That’s where we start.
Ready to Break the Pattern?
Direct 1-on-1 engagement • Strict non-disclosure agreements precede all discussions.
Private Power Dynamics & Strategic Influence for Sovereign Leaders.
© 2026 Matthew Pickus. All rights reserved. Bespoke advisory for individual leadership.